Abhijit is half–Bengali and half–Eng-lish. I am half-Bengali, quar-ter–Punjabi and quarter–Eng-lish. So ours is a mixed marriage with a major confusion!" laughs Shyamoli Varma, former Lakme model and a well—established choreographer today.

When Shyamoli met Abhijit Chaterjee and they decided to tie the knot three–years–ago, caste and community considerations were probably the last things on their mind. "This issue never came up at all. Both of us have not been brought up in an atmosphere where caste played a dominant role. Even my mother’s marriage was inter–caste and his sister has married a Goan. We have Muslim people working for us. So the idea of seeing anyone differently just because the person belonged to a different community has just not been there," elaborates Shyamoli.

There was not even a whimper of protest from families of either side when the two decided to wed. "We had a traditional Bengali wedding since Abhijit’s father desired that. As far as following of religion at home goes, while both of us believe in a supreme power, we do not worship a particular God or go for rituals. Christ-mas and Diwali are the two festivals we celebrate at home and with equal fervour."

Shyamoli’s two–year–old daughter has been named Akiksha, a Sanskrit name which means the secret of rebel-lious love. The toddler has been left to grow natu-rally, unburdened by the pressures of having to strike a balance between two diverse faiths and customs. "I talk to her in English since my Hindi is so bad. I am hoping my husband will teach her good Hindi. My mom would probably teach her some Bengali since she is fluent in the language. But no one is overtly concerned about what language she will speak. It’s just not an issue at all."

Shyamoli does admit though that caste can pose major problems for couples if the families are not broad–minded. "I have seen so many close friends go through such trauma only because of their desire to marry outside their caste. You have parents threatening to throw the kids out of the house, disown them and take away their rights to inheritance. All this has really made me come to the conclu-sion that its time we got rid of this caste system once and for all.

We have to learn to see everyone as human beings rather than as Hindu or Mus-lim or any other community," she concludes emphatically, even as she provides a perfect example of this with her own marriage where caste has never been an issue with love being the foundation of the relationship.

As told to SONU BAKSHI